


this love is good, this love is bad (this love is alive back from the dead)

by ThisIsMix (bicorn818)



Category: Clexa-fandom, The 100 (TV), The 100 Series - Kass Morgan, clexa - Fandom
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-07
Updated: 2016-02-07
Packaged: 2018-05-18 20:21:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5941834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bicorn818/pseuds/ThisIsMix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>clarke's pov during The Bow in 3x03</p><p>or</p><p>the one where clarke sees lexa for the first time since the mountain</p>
            </blockquote>





	this love is good, this love is bad (this love is alive back from the dead)

 

> _"I swear a fealty to you, Clarke kom Skaikru. I vow to treat your needs as my own and your people as my people"_  
> 

Clarke stood there, unsure of what she had heard. Her mind goes back to the words she heard earlier in the day _"Heda nou spek em daun gon non nowe."_. She looks back at the girl before her. Green eyes meet blue and she feels her heart flutter. 

 

> _"Heda nou spek em daun gon non nowe"_

The words repeat over and over again in her head, to remind her that she cannot trust the Commander. The Commander left them at the Mountain, the Commander forced Clarke to kill all those people, the Commander kiss-- Clarke took a step back and looked at the girl again.

Her braids are loose but not messy, falling perfectly to frame her face. Even in the darkness, her beauty radiates. Clarke notices that she isn't wearing any warpaint, her eyes ever so green and rich in the dim light of the throne room. Clarke matches her gaze and she sees nothing of the anger and pride she expected. Clarke sees regret, pain, love, and fear. 

 

* * *

 

> _"Heda nou spek em daun gon non nowe"_

The Commander bows before no one, the Commander does not feel pain, the Commander does not love, the Commander does not fear anything or anyone. Yet the girl before her is all that and more. Clarke thinks back to the Mountain. She tries to remember that exact moment she fell apart. Was it when the Commander ordered her people away? No, the deal was a good deal. She would've taken it had she been given the chance. No, seeing thousands of grounders leave wasn't what broke Clarke. 

Lexa leaving did.

Lexa, the girl who had crept on Clarke and found her way in Clarke's heart--something she thought she'd lost the minute she got locked up. Lexa, the girl who watched the woman she love get decapitated piece by piece. Lexa, the girl who carries the weight of twelve clans on her shoulders. Lexa, the girl who chooses to survive with her head instead of her heart. Lexa, the girl who locked away her heart in order to serve her people. Lexa, the girl who kissed her with such tenderness she thought wasn't possible on the ground.

Lexa leaving was what shattered the last of Clarke's heart.

 

* * *

 

>   _"Heda nou spek em daun gon non nowe"_

Clarke takes a deep breath and studies the girl before her. The Commander bows before no one, Clarke gets that, and even if she did, Clarke knows not to trust the Commander's word _(not yet)._ But this girl in front of her is not the Commander. Clarke does the only thing she deemed proper. She held out her hand and waited for Lexa to take it. When their hands touch, Clarke thinks that maybe, this coalition wasn't such a bad idea. She still doesn't trust the Commander, but she thinks maybe she can trust Lexa.


End file.
